My best friend called me on Wednesday and filled me in on her life. She told me that there was a high possibility that one of our friends will be moving into the house with her and our other friends. This woman is a very beautiful, very creative, inspirational woman in our community. I’ve always liked her and always enjoyed her presence. But when my friend told me she was thinking of moving in, my initial reaction was
Noooo!
It immediately put me in a sad mood. Grouchy mood. When I realized that my otherwise great day at school was completely erased, my head suddenly filled with grey, I was taken aback. This news had so much sway within me it was alarming. Why was I so upset by the news?
Being so far away from my friend, I’ve felt very isolated. It has been hard for me to be away from her. Normally, I see her once a week, if not more. I live twenty-five miles south and now I’m immobile, stick in the city. When I heard this news, it was pure jealousy. If this amazing woman is there more than I, what will happen to my amazing friendship with my amazing friend? I felt like I could easily be replaced and I saw something I deeply cherish being taken away with me having little power to stop it.
Oy, I got so far ahead of myself so quickly.
Why does my friend making a good friend have to take away from my friendship with her? It sounds so…silly. I don’t live there, I won’t be there, I won’t see her as often as I’d like, or as often as her new roommate will. These two woman have so much in common and there is no doubt that there bond will become stronger. But the bond that I’ve built with my friend is far beyond anything that could be crushed by time, distance, or additional friends.
There is no reason that giving to one friendship or relationship has to take away from another. I’m not losing a friend, she’s gaining one and building upon another friendship. I’m happy for her. I’m happy they both will get this experience, not jealous because I won’t.
And I’m happy that I realized all of this. How I was feeling. Why I was feeling. It’s hard for me to make friends. I’m so picky with the people I have in my life. This woman has been such an incredible addition to my journey and the thought of losing her to another friendship immediately had my insides all turned around and upside down. Than, after thinking about it, I knew that the only thing that could dampen our friendship would be me allowing these crazy negative thoughts to hinder our friendship before they even have relevance.
That much beautiful womanly energy under one roof might make the earth open up.
I pray to heavens I’m there to witness it.
