Last Saturday, I had lunch with Patrica and Lee. They are one of my favorite couples! We were sitting at a table waiting for our meals when Patricia asked me to make a list of the things I want in “the one.” The man of my dreams. My perfect match. It was an akward conversation to have with one of the most perfectly matched couples I have in my life. Actually, I have three favorite couples in my life. Trish and Lee, Brian and Korrie, and Jack and Charity. Why they are my favorites seems so obvious to me and very easy to explain:
When you’re around any one of them, you understand that they were meant for one another. Their personalities match, they have similar humor and wit. They understand each other while having different perspectives, which always make for interesting conversation. They are smart and beautiful and true to themselves and each other. I haven’t known them as long as they have all known each other but when I’m with them, I can’t imagine them with anyone else! I had the opportunity to meet ex’s from a few of them. As much as I may have enjoyed these people, they weren’t perfect for my friends…because their current partners are.
So, I’m sitting at the table with Patricia and Lee, makin’ my list.
Number one is must read books. I read so much and book swapping is one of my favorite things, ever. Book reading = essential. My second quality was tall. Well, taller than me. Having dated men ranging the height spectum, I like looking up for a kiss or being enveloped in a snug hug. I like tall. Number three was music. Lee said “He has to like good music. What’s good music? Your music?” My answer needed to be more specific. I tend to like classical musicians and artist. You know, when music was made by real musicians. You know…a musician is someone who plays an instrument. Instruments…guitars…pianos… I digress. The problem I had with my last boyfriend wasn’t that we listened to completely different kinds of music. My problem was he never let me listen to my own unless it was in my head phones. I’d be home making dinner, singing my tunes when he’d walk in, say hello, and just change the music to his own. No reason just, that’s how it went. I didn’t mind his music but sometimes, I wanna listen to my shit…and that’s just it. So, number three is he has to let me listen to my music.
After this, my list just got silly.
Patricia said “Okay we’ve got reads books, lets you listen to your music, and is taller than you. What else?” I was looking out the window trying to think of something specific I wanted and I blurted out “Not stupid.” Lee says “Naaaah! Positive!” “I dunno, what’s the opposite of ‘not stupid’? Brilliant?”
After this, my mind couldn’t genuinely think about it anymore. Patricia has tried to get me to make this list a few times, and it’s always a challenge for me. I’ve tried to think about why asking the universe to bring me exactly what I want in a partner for life is a challenge for me.
It’s not that I can’t make the list, it’s that I’m not ready to make the list. I’m still growing, still learning about who I am. How can I fully know what I want -for life-? I don’t want to find my perfect someone right now. What I want right now is to finish school, finish my interpreting program, write my stories, sing my songs, flower my garden and enjoy being me for a long while before I become me and he.
Patricia and Lee, Brian and Korrie, Jack and Charity, I couldn’t imagine knowing them any other way. I know that at one point they did exist without the other but the power that shines from their relationships is something to marvel. I believe they were only able to reach that level by taking the time to learn who they were individually, so they could come together and shine. So I will take this time to fully develop. When it is time for me to make that list, it will be made with ease. The beautiful love that radiates from these couples is a glow I hope to one day achieve.
Until then, seventh wheel. And totally cool with that. For as long as they’ll have me.
